Robot Story

 Ah, the South African taxi industry – proudly Zulu-run, fearlessly fast, and sometimes scarier than a horror movie marathon. Every day is an episode of Fast & Furious: Minibus Drift, except nobody gave you a script.

These road warriors don’t just drive, oh no – they command. If you think traffic rules apply, shame man, you must be new here. Their motto? “All roads belong to us, mfethu.”

First rule of survival: build a deep, spiritual connection with your brakes. You never know when a taxi will stop dead in front of you to pick up a passenger who wasn’t even waiting there. One minute you’re vibing to your playlist, the next you’re testing your seatbelt’s job description. Second rule: sharpen your dodging skills. Potholes in Gauteng aren’t holes – they’re craters, and the taxis dance around them like they’re auditioning for Strictly Come Driving.

Third rule: always carry loose change. At any moment, someone might pop their head in your window asking for “just R2.50 for a Coke, broer.” Consider it a toll fee for surviving another day.

And finally: if you’re not South African, no pap, no problem – ikona pap – then, my friend, you’re in deep, deep trouble